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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

there is a mortgage company that shares the wing of this office building with my company. they are small, and by all accounts unsuccessful. their one redeeming quality is a sign in the window that says "Think Nobody Cares That You're Alive? Try Missing A Mortgage Payment."

anyway, the president of that company looks like the kind of guy whose name should be "Rusty", you know what i mean? he is short, freckly, red-headed, kind of pudgy and REAL annoying. he thinks that because he is president of some no name company that he is also president of my company, and he waltzes in here all the time, getting a cup of coffee, helping himself to free bagels on bagel day, sometimes opening the fridge in the breakroom and seeing what kinds of snacks are in there for him to pilfer.

he is infuriating. keep coffee in your OWN OFFICE. eat your OWN FOOD.

whenever he calls i act like i don't know who he is just to piss him off. like he will call and act like we are friends and will say "i'm sorry, who is this? from which company?"

(after all, a girl has got to amuse herself)

anyway, so i am out in the hallway a few minutes ago, with a hugs stack of enveloppes, contemplating what to do since the mailbox is out of order because some yahoo put a huge box in it thus making it impossible to put any mail in it.

and Rusty comes by and says to me "where are your shoes?"

(i clearly am wearing black Polo flip flops so i ready myself for an annoying encounter)

" on my feet" i reply, looking down for emphasis.

"those aren't shoes. not in my office. "he said, giving my perfectlypedicured feet a dirty look.

"well, it's a good thing i don't work for you" i snapped, and shuffled off with my 20 lbs of mail.

then he had the nerve to follow me back to my office, NOT hold the door for me as I struggled with all my envelopes, and then tell me to "lighten up" as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

what this man doesn't know is that i have PMS and had i not been weighed down my envelopes, would have doused him in hot coffee and kicked him out the door.

he was lucky......this time.

6 comments:

AliRose said...

What a total ass-munch, your response, however, was absolutely perfect. Who does he think he is?

Raineydays said...

Lucky indeed!

e$ said...

clearly he does not appreciate the power of a good pedicure. idiot.

Jenny said...

That is completely ridiculous! He has no right to be coming into your office at ALL, let alone eating/drinking the items bought by your office or the people in your company. And telling you "not in my office"?!?! WTF!?

Anonymous said...

oh HELL NO! girl, i would have said 'fuck off' to him in a heartbeat. your shoes probably cost more than his anyway! and plus he didn't even try to help you carry anything or to open your door--clearly he is a classless person. argh!

(and the wedding was wonderful, thanks for all the comments...sorry, i'm just now getting around to everyone. oh! and what's the address for your travel blog? i love reading stuff like that!)
~natalie.

carrotpenis said...

Instead of being negative about this, why don't you get some coffee for him. Just make sure you spit a gigantic loogee(sp?) into it before you give it to him. I bet you'll feel better about the whole thing.