The Pink Shoe Diaries

so, last night my brother Peter came over to watch the game and hang out with Adam and I. i spent a large portion of the night making dinner (my first foray into the world of lamb chops went excellently and i sincerely recommend them to anyone who can get over the fact that they are eating baby sheep), so that my boys could hang out and bond.

later in the night, the conversation turned to my brother's efforts to quit smoking. he smoked a pack day for years until recently. a throat cancer scare steered him into the smokeless world (it turned out he was just having muscle contractions in his throat because of acid reflux, ew). there is also a guy in my office trying to quit and both he and my brother talk about "triggers" when they talk about quitting. as in, what triggers you to smoke. for alot of people it is stress and in turn this makes you examine the question of what stresses you out?

as a semi-smoker, someone who smokes maybe a pack a week, i am at the mercy of my triggers since it is not a nictotine addiction that compels me to smoke.

as we talked about it last night, i realized that the only real source of stress in my life is not my parents, not money, not anything like that...

it's traffic.

(sad, i know!)

i spend about 2 hours a day on the road, and i smoke almost exclusively in my car, when i am stuck in traffic, or when i experience a sudden burst of road rage, or when i am running late for work and have something important due. and in fact i feel most comfortable having one hand on the wheel and one hand out the window flicking a cig.

for example: yesterday the traffic on Rt 128 South was so horrendous. i was stuck in the same place for about 35 minutes at a time. and there was no mention of any accidents, and indeed most of the traffic updates on various radio stations ignore Rt 128 South below the Mass Pike all together and dont even mention it (my entire commute is below the Mass Pike). so it is even more infuriating when you don't know WHY you are at a standstill for so long.

so of course out comes the pack of cigarettes, down go all my windows and the chain smoking begins.

so, it appears that if i didn't have this commute, i would smoke significantly less. in fact, i would most likely revert to my usual "social smoker" mode where i only smoke on weekends at parties.

so, it is not my fault. it is the road's fault.

and forget blaming Philip Morris, i'm looking at you Mass Highway Department!