so, smoking.
i actually quit smoking in November and it was surprisingly easy. I just finished my last pack and said to myself "ok, i'm done", and never looked back. i'm sure this means that i wasn't really addicted and that's probably true because i've always thought of myself as a "social smoker". i smoke almost exclusively when drinking. every so often (especially when i was in school) i would go through phase that would last a month or so where i would smoke during the day, usually about 1-2 packs a week but never more than that. i was never the type to take smoking breaks during work. and sometimes i would go a month or two without smoking and not even really notice.
all of which is to reiterate my initial point: quitting was easy for me and i haven't looked back.
until this week :(
i smoked two cigarettes on Saturday and one last night. and the one i smoked last night was OLD. as in an open- pack-left-over-from-last-November-old. (ick) and i realized that i really MISSED smoking. even that disgusting one i smoked last night felt really good (granted, we established earlier that i was hammered), but still. i miss having a cigarette in my hand when i drive. i miss being alone in the dark on the front steps with a cigarette and a glass of wine. and i miss cigarette breaks in between martinis. it's gross but i miss it! and for some weird reason i am craving Kims, even though i don't even think they sell them in the US.
so it appears that now, three months after quitting, all the difficulty that i should have experienced before is upon me.
so we'll see how much will power i have now that i actually WANT to smoke. it's easy to quit something that you're not really interested in.
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4 comments:
truthfully, i am a bad friend, i miss us smoking. i wanted one so badly last night but didn't! <3 danielle (livejournal.com/
No you can't give in! A story like yours, quitting cold turkey, gives me hope. Although last year I finally admitted to myself, I am a smoker. Not a social smoker, a real one (though I don’t smoke at work). It is not a good feeling. I see old ladies at the gas station buying packs of smokes, all hunched over and gross, and I worry I am going to end up like them. Don’t start again!!
hang in there! i quit smoking cold turkey too. at first it was really hard, and i'd always manage to sneak one in at the bar when no one was looking, but now that i've quit for a year and a half i'm feeling alot better.
Look, I haven't smoked in over a month... well unless you count Vday, where it just so happens the bathroom attendant at my fav gay bar has a wide array of Marlboro brands. I don't really plan on starting again, but if every now and then I feel like doing something PG that includes putting something in my mouth and sucking - well goddamn it, that's what I am going to do. It's the regularity you need to watch.
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