i was recently reading a friend's blog in which she was debating getting breast augmentation. (hey girl!). nothing too drastic, something like from a B cup to a C cup. she asked her readers for advice in this matter, noting that her husband was not a huge fan of her having this procedure done.
advice ranged from "it's your body, it's your choice" and "you go, girl" to "why would you want to do something will make your husband mad?"
speaking as someone who has their breast lifts mentally sceduled for every five years after i turn thirty-five, i was sort of appalled that anyone would think her husband had a say in it. so i mentioned something to my boss about it. i asked her that if she wanted to get implants, would her husband's opinion on the subject matter? i felt i knew her andswer, since she is a pretty liberal lady, who espouses my I Look Good, I Do What I Want doctrine.
but i was shocked by her reply
"My husband won't let me do any of that kind of stuff".
Let? LET? when does what you do to your own body become something that needs to be permitted by another party? i know that when you get married, you share your life with someone. but when you share yourself with someone, does that mean that you share desicions about, well, Your Self?
i wonder if i might have a skewed opinion on this since i am 1) not married and 2) not even close to getting married. i feel like something as drastic as plastic surgery or as even as mundane as changing my hair color remain my decisions no matter who i am sharing my life with. these are things that i would be doing for myself, not for anyone else. i am not sure if my husband would even be involved in my decision making process any more than a friend who i might casually ask opinions of.
Does saying "I Do" mean doing away with "I Do What I Want"?
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
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7 comments:
it's funny because when adam sees pics of me before my reduction he is like "i wish i knew you then!" (he is a total boob-man). but what he doesn't understand is that REAL breasts that are that big do not look the same as FAKE breasts that are that big. meaning without a bra i was tripping over them. ;-)
as someone about to be married, i value my (future) husband's opinion, and i know i wouldn't do something major without talking it over with him first. if he was really against it, i might reconsider. that said, if it was something i really wanted to do, and felt i needed to do for me, i would hope he would understand that and be supportive of my decision. isn't that what love is all about?
I think that it depends on the circumstances and the context of his "no". If your friend's husband won't let her because they don't have the money, or (sweetly) argues that she would be messing with natural perfection, I think that she owes it to him as someone she shares her life with to discuss it with him. On the other hand, if he won't let her because what he says goes, well, that's different.
In situations like this I try to picture what the reverse issue would be... In this case I'm picturing that guy on MTVs True Life: Plastic Surgery who got calf implants. I would HOPE that if my boyfriend were planning any nonsense like that I'd be allowed veto power, and honestly, I think I'd allow him the same. Granted, I would hope that if it was something I felt really strongly about, he'd want me to decide on whatever would make me happy over what would satisfy his personal preference.
It's tricky.
hey, i know what you mean, i myself had a breast reduction last year. but i am not against implants..its a personal choice. i believe that you do what you need to do to feel good about yourself, and it doesnt much matter what others think about that. if i really wanted to do something that would improve how i feel in my own skin then i would do it even if my husband didn't want me to (although i agree with jaime that i would want him to suppport my decision).
aw my favorite tipic.i love boobs! i love how they look in shirts and tank tops, i just love how they can balance a womans body so perfectly. i am quite the pervert if you hadnt noticed. my boobs shrunk so much over the past couple years theyre liek defalted little baloons. they just hang there all flat and small. i have the hardest time with dresses and tank tops any thing that has weird straps cuz i absolutle have to wear a bra, i need the lift cuz its just not comfortable to have them hang.i really hate my boobs and i wish i had the money to get new ones soooo bad. so i guess if i did then thered be absolutly nothign anyone could say to stop me. nothin to big just proportioned to my body liek the were before Cs are perfect...now im drooling thanks
Let's see ... you want to do something that makes you feel better about yourself. The problem with that would be ...???
So help me, guys are such jerks.
-G
gotta chime in with one of the few male perspectives on ilookgood. there's a huge difference between taking her husbands opinion into consideration and asking for his approval. by saying "he's not a fan", it sounds more like the former, where as "he refuses to let her" sounds more like approval. so its kinda murky what you mean.
in other news, i was getting harassed at work last week b/c i was looking at your website and i was accused of "shopping for shoes" b/c of the pink colors and picture of a shoe on the website.
go Patriots!
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