The Pink Shoe Diaries

i am so desperate for a martini right now that i actually attempted to make one with pickle juice instead of olive juice. i need to go food shopping, seriously.

when that turned out to be entirely too gross to handle, i opted for a more tolerable pseudo-cosmo, made from smirnoff cranberry, part of a capri sun, and a dash of san pellegrino.

this is what dinner with my parents can drive me to.

it wasn't all bad. i do enjoy hanging out with my family, catching up, discussing news etc. really i like talking about anything with them. anything except me.

but of course this is what always happens. my parents meddle their way into my finances, my job decisions, my class-taking and drive me absolutely crazy! i have a certain mindset about my life..and it is an optimistic mindset. if things go wrong, i know they will work out in the end. i'm not really a worrier. for instance, in doing my taxes it became apparent that i was going to owe a rather large amount due to my stint as an independent contractor for three months last year. i should have done a quarterly filing, but i did not. there were shoes and bags and martinis to be bought. and what i owe is not an insurmountable amount..i mean i don't make enough money to owe TOO much. but the fact of the matter is that i do owe the federal government some of my hard earned money, and furthermore, my father told me so.

now, owing taxes is not a big deal. this is the second year in a row i have owed. granted, last year i was living at home and my parents paid what i owed. but i am a big girl, financially independent and no stranger to debt. i am not upset. i will Deal With It. no use getting upset about last years claims, right? i made my decision and i knew that this would be the result.

ain't no thang.

my father has the exact opposite point of view as me. he is a dweller, and a bemoaner, and a looker-backer. even though i am out of their house and really, my finances are my business, he still looks upon me and my bank account as his responsibility, and the fact that I OWE means HE OWES.

"now you'll expect us to help you out i suppose" he said

"not at all, it's no big deal. i can get on a payment plan if i have to. it's really not a big deal." i told him, and then attempted to change the subject.

but of course he had to harp on it for what seemed like hours, and what he really wants is for me to take the money from him because then he can make me feel guilty about it for the rest of my life. he wants me to take his money so he can say "see, i told you so!" to my mother who knows i can take care of myself. he wants proof that i still need him to fix my mistakes.

i'm not saying i don't appreciate the offer, i'm just saying i don't have time for the strings it comes with. this is my parents game: "take our money! in return, we will own your soul"

i don't mean it that dramatically but honestly that is what it feels like sometime.

so you know what? i don't need their money. i would rather be on a tighter budget but have no one else to answer to, then get the quick fix of daddy's money. i can pay this off myself, and if i can't do it all at once i'm sure i can do it within a few months.

even if it means drinking pickle martinis.

(just kidding..it was really gross)