Aren't you cold?
"Aren't you cold!?"
let's talk about this question for a moment, shall we?
last night, Adam and i went on a "date". i got dolled up in a cute black and white skirt, black off the shoulder sweater, he donned one of his cute sweater-with-collared-shirt-underneath combos, and we were off to Rock Bottom for some grilled mahi and micro brews.
upon entrance to the restaurant, the hostess (who, i might add, was wearing a sleeveless turtleneck sweater over an actual turtleneck) said to me "oh my god, aren't you cold!?"
i hate this question/statement. it is meant to sound concerned but almost always it is snarky in intent.
i mean, my skirt was knee length, i had on dark stockings and stiletto pumps. i had on my knee length cashmere coat and a scarf. what about this outfit suggests that i should be cold? and it's not like i was standing in the freezing blustering rain. i had a 3 ft walk from the valet attendent to the warmed restaurant. her concern, if there even was any, was definitely misplaced.
so i told her "no, not at all". which of course caused her to expound on how SHE would be SO cold if she were me and i am CRAZY for walking around in this kind of weather in THAT kind of outfit.
seriously, you would think i was standing there in a strapless mini dress.
it really made me wish that you were supposed to tip hostesses at these types of places..just so i could have the pleasure of not tipping her.
maybe i am overreacting, but i find this question kind of offensive. it implies poor taste in attire which we all know i do not suffer from.
so, in conclusion, if you are a girl, don't ask girls (especially me) if they are cold.
i mean, being a girl, you should know that if they were cold, they would probably be bitching about it anyway.
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5 comments:
Certain members of my family have asked me this question on more than one occasion. I'm not gonna name names... okay, it's one or more of my sisters (usually the older ones) who have a tendency to inadvertently make me feel guilty or crappy with the slightest comment. I don't know how they do it. It's a gift. But anyway.. I have the SAME reaction when they say that to me! Like, what, do I look like I'm about to head to Chinatown for a 3:00am stroll outside a meat shop? Bitches. HA! I love them though.
Woops. That was me up there. - Sasky
what really bothers me is when you put on a sweater or something and then someone asks if you're cold. no fucktard, i WAS cold, but now that i have this nice sweater on, i'm just fine thanks.
and also, it wasn't even that cold last night.
Commenting on your customer's attire is not acceptable hostess decorum. A hostess is just there to pretend to be happy to see you, not to advise you on what she would be wearing instead. I agree that "fucktard" is the appropriate adjective for this girl.
Now the appropriate response? There's very little you can say to put this girl in her place that doesn't also make you sound like a complete bitch in front of the boyfriend because he most likely will not understand why the question is offensive. I think "Why? Is it cold in here?" is what I would have said.
you are so right! my boyfriend totally had no idea that this was offensive. he was like "its funny that she thinks it's cold in here when really it's kind of warm!" oh men...so simple. ;-)
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