The Pink Shoe Diaries

i am listening to Zap Mama on the radio. Zap Mama is never on the radio! go 89.5FM!!

so, it has to be said: I think one of the most innapropriate places to try and pick someone else at Starbucks in the morning...i mean, most people are pre-coffee and not looking forward to their work day. AND at least in a bar your lame attempts to sound suave are drowned out by drunken antics of fellow bar-goers....but Starbucks is silent as a tomb in the morning except for the ubiquitous Nina Simone or Ella FItzgerald CD. So you not only embarrass yourself, but you also embarrass the person you are trying to pick up, as well as innocent bystanders waiting meekly for their macchiatos. Here is an example, taken from my experience this morning.

Old Man: So where did those WMDs go?
Me: Excuse me?
Old Man: In Iraq, do you think they were ever there?
Me: I'm sorry, I don't discuss politics on this side of Newbury Street (as i point to my "Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Republican pin")
Old Man: (laughing and sort of trying to touch me) Wow, that's great. I love it.
Me: (backing up)
Old Man: Soooo, I see you here alot...my friend and I do actually. Do you work on Newbury?
Me: (hoping desperately that by "friend" he does not mean "penis".) No, I work on Com
Old Man: Are you a real estate agent? You look like a real estate agent"
Me: No, I work in property management
Old Man: Well, you may work in property management but you have expensive taste
Me: (wait, why wouldn't i have expensive taste just because i work in property management? and how does he know i have expensive taste) Excuse me?
Old Man: (gesturing at my wrist) That's a Tiffany's bracelet, right? You have expensive taste!
Me: (somewhat shocked, since my bracelet is not signature Tiffs, and thus only a true afficianado would know what it is and in any case it is a knockoff). Well, someone who is nice to me has expensive taste
Old Man: (kind of leering at me) I'd like to be nice to you.
Me: Thanks, see you later!

At which point i leave quickly without even putting sugar in the mocha. so you KNOW i was stressed.