The Pink Shoe Diaries

i now know the rage of a woman scorned


i was not scorned by a man, but rather by an obese woman and a handbag-with-matching-scarf. now, you may be thinking "how can an obese woman and a handbag-with-matching-scarf have scorned you". well, it not only happened, but it happened on holy ground: The Talbots Outlet.


it began as any Sunday shopping trip does, waiting outside of the closed doors for the shop to open. I like to be first on Sundays, i feel like I will find something really great when in reality most really great things were swept up on Saturday. Regardless. I entered the store, savoring the Talobots scent of woven silk, new leather and White Shoulders. i immediately headed for the "accessories/shoe" section because these are what I care for most and tend to go the quickest. I immediately spied it: a gorgeous white canvas bag with black trim, and polka dot bow accent. Tied carelessly around the handle was the matching scarf. The whole deal totaled at $35. i steal by any standard. I claimed the bag/scarf and made my way over to shoes and then, eventually, to skirts and dresses. there is where i made the ultimate shopping mistake:


i put the bag/scarf down, thinking i would come back for it when i was less laden down with stuff. i sort of hid it in a pile of clearance paisley. i thought it would be okay.


i returned from the dressing room 10 minutes later, after what i will call a Misadventure with Pleated Items, and found to my horror that the bag was gone. I gasped and looked around. It was nowhere to be found. I located my mother in the plaid-culottes section and updated her on the dissapearence and subsequent search. she was, shall we say, less than sympathetic. she not only called me an idiot for leaving the purse behind, but she called it "ugly" which i think was uncalled for.


anyway, i began a meticlous search of the store. perhaps someone had moved it to better get at the paisley vests. perhaps someone picked it up, and realizing it was really only suitable for MOI, put it back. i am not that lucky though, and i soon found my lost prize in the sweaty palms of a Gastric Bypass reject.


I approached her, downwind, and tentatively said
"i think you have my bag"
she looked at me blankly and said "i found it over there" and pointed in the direction of the paisley vests.
"are you going to buy it? because i didn't mean to put it down"
"of course i'm buying it!" she snapped and waddled off in the direction of the Women's Coats.


I immdiately experienced the phenomena known as Shopper's Rage and threw somewhat of a temper tantrum in the scarf department. I half heartedly looked for a similar scarf and bag but to no avail. I watched Miss Thing lope thrying on a Triple XL bright pink raincoat through narrowed eyes. "Stop acting like a baby" my mother hissed.


i cannot help it. I think there is a shopper's creed wherein if something is hidden - it is probably off limits. I have hid many an item, either while running to the bank or looking for another item. And i have never had this happen. I tell you, there is no trust in the world.