Breast of Luck

I have been out of the house party scene for a while now. Or rather the house parties I attend involve wine and word games maybe the occasional Britney dance off. But this past Friday I attended my gorgeous cousin Melissa's going away party. Now that she is done with college she is leaving us and moving to Italy for the time being. Ciao Bella!! We are all extremely jealous. 

But yes, Friday was her going away party at her mom's house which happens to be in the same city as my apartment. Her mom (my aunt) was absconding for the evening and the beer and beer pong was sure to flow like wine.  I have been feeling boring lately so this was just what I needed. A party with young folk (young meaning under 25!).  I may be 28 but I still know how to house party it up when neccesary! So I informed Andy and Adam that we would be attending and with that, a house party was on our agenda.

We arrived around 9:30PM, having had dinner with Andy's parents at Townsend's before (fabulous burger there, if you are in the Hyde Park area, check it out). We brought wine and vodka with us and settled down with drinking and gabbing and catching up and talking shiz. Melissa has a great group of friends and it is always so much fun to catch up with my local cousins. All in a night's work.

Later in the night, after midnight when we were all a tad worse for the wear, the second shift of the party showed up. Among this group was a "tres ivré" friend of a friend (you know the type). She immediately latched onto me because I was wearing a leopard coat and leopard is to drunk girls what red is to bulls. They can't resist it. My group and I humored her for a while and then moved on to a different section of a party.

Presently, she re entered the conversation but this time. Something was different. This time, one of her breasts was out.

Now, I am not a small-chested gal and I know that when wearing a low cut shirt, one can sometimes expose more than one wants. But that is what safety pins and self awareness are for. This girl had straight up one entire BREAST hanging out of the front of her shirt. It was one of those things when you see at first but don't compute. There was a moment of silence among Andy, Adam and I and then the silence was breached by my cackling shrieks of laughter.

I know, not the nicest reaction but it could not be helped. A breast! 

Andy, ever the gentleman, said "Oh no honey we have to do something about this" and pulled her shirt up and kind of tucked her back in, while Adam stood aghast and I continued to laugh so hard I couldn't breathe. You know when you know you shouldn't be laughing and it just makes you laugh more? A BREAST!!!!

This poor soul evidently wasn't having my shrieky laughs or Andy's gentlemanly assistance because she responded by huffing into the next room, and moments later removing not one but TWO breasts from her shirt and shaking them in our direction.

TWO BREASTS.

I know I am like a 5 year old with a pee joke over here but I can not stop laughing about it. It was hysterical. And my poor cousin was so apologetic when she had no need to be, I mean we have all suffered the indignities of an unruly uninvited guest. And thanks to her I had a good laugh AND a good shot of self esteem because I may have engaged in drunk shenanigans at parties (hello I went to Umass) but I have never whipped out a private part to prove a point!

Ah kids today.

Also - it comes to my attention that today is NATIONAL DE-LURKING DAY. So come on all you li'l lurkers and tell me who you are. If you have a blog I would love to read it. If you don't that's fine too just say "oh hai" or something. I love new blog friends! If a blog entry about breasts can't get you to comment, nothing can.